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July 31, 2013
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The day after reading Kafka's The Metamorphosis, our protagonist wakes up as a chat room. It's difficult to say what gender our protagonist originally was, since chat rooms are notoriously ungendered, but for simplicity's sake let's call him a he.

The chat room was at the time entirely empty, aside from an idling bot called =SmartBot. As far as the denizens of the chat room were concerned, including its bot, nothing much had changed about their preferred spot for hanging out, even though it was now in fact an entity that had a gender (sort of) and could wake up with memories of reading Kafka.

The chat room, which was titled #Writers_Haven, and had the descriptive text "HATERS WILL BE BANNED!!" immediately felt morose. He hadn't intended to wake up as a chat room - in fact he'd much have preferred a giant bug or maybe stuck in a barrel up to his throat. Being a chat room, he pondered, didn't really mean anything after all. There was no underlying metaphor behind it.

However, the worst part about being a chat room, especially one that was a haven to writers (of all things), was the embarrassing lack of privacy. He went to work, and although no-one seemed very phased about his transition (he had bragged about reading Kafka to everyone at MacPherson & Co. Electroplating & Aluminium the day before), they were quite disturbed by the chat itself, as it came alive during the day.

By the end of the day, #Writers_Haven was sadly let go from his clerks position at MacPherson & Co Electroplating & Aluminium, although his boss, Mr. MacPherson, had some difficulties expressing the exact reasoning.

"Maybe indecent exposure? It's all...very indecent. Please just go. I can't take another detailed description of feline sex acts with accurately portrayed barbed penii."

#Writers_Haven felt rather morose about his sudden unemployment. He went home to his apartment, where he tried to look at some job listings but, let's be honest, who is going to hire a chat room for writers in this economy? Seeing as he could not even log into his internet bank to pay his rent any longer (chat rooms do not have hands), he found himself evicted and forced to move back in with his parents.

His parents, both rather disappointed in their son/daughter (remember we are not sure what gender he used to have) but determined not to show it, gave him the basement to live in. They too found themselves rather embarrassed about what was going on inside him, so he spent a lot of time hidden in the basement. His life thus arranged, he realized he actually had a lot in common with those who frequented him. As chat rooms don't specifically need to eat, he found he could spend most of his time in the basement, observing the goings-about of his chatizens. His parents, siblings, and former friends were all very relieved. For a brief moment, #Writers_Haven was not entirely displeased with his situation.

Alas, #Writers_Haven came to an untimely end one beautiful summer afternoon, when the indefatigable =SmartBot was kicked out by an admin for shits and giggles, and no-one made it rejoin. As the room emptied, one furry after the other bidding their goodnights, #Writers_Haven finally ceased to exist as the last member left, blinking out of existence like a chat room timing out.
FFM for July 31. Rest of entries: www.deviantart.com#/art/FFM-Li…

Challenge for this last day of FFM was to write an absurdist story. I wrote Kafka fanfic, appropriately never having read Kafka! Also a chatroom. I don't know, don't look at me like that it's the last day of FFM :stare:
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:iconnamelessshe:
NamelessShe Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I love this--->It's difficult to say what gender our protagonist originally was, since chat rooms are notoriously ungendered, but for simplicity's sake let's call him a he.

Also this--->Alas, #Writers_Haven came to an untimely end one beautiful summer afternoon, when the indefatigable =SmartBot was kicked out by an admin for shits and giggles, and no-one made it rejoin. As the room emptied, one furry after the other bidding their goodnights, #Writers_Haven finally ceased to exist as the last member left, blinking out of existence like a chat room timing out.
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:iconwolfrug:
Wolfrug Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you :D
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:iconthe-inkling:
The-Inkling Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2013   Writer
The existential crisis of being a chat room. What's a man to do. Truly there is no acceptance for difference in this world. And such a tragic end...

Who better to write Kafka fanfiction than someone who has not read Kafka. =p But this is weirdly good. Emphasis on the 'weirdly'.
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:iconwolfrug:
Wolfrug Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
=P Egads, this was an absurd exercise in absurdity. But oh well. Thank you.
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:iconfutilitarian:
futilitarian Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2013   Writer
This was really terribly special.
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:iconwolfrug:
Wolfrug Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Terribly special as in terribly good or terribly terrible? =P Thanks for the :+fav: anyway.
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:iconfutilitarian:
futilitarian Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2013   Writer
Good :giggle:
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:iconjoe-wright:
joe-wright Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2013   General Artist
Is this a hint that you want me to stop talking about cat sex? Because I won't. I'll never stop.
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:iconwolfrug:
Wolfrug Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is an intervention, yes. :stare: Please stop.
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