FFM 2012, July 3 - Nekkid Robots

The trend was sweeping the whole android community: nudism. Everywhere, robots would undress and walk naked down the street, to the office, to the beach. Every type was joining in, from the latest-model EscortBots that turned heads everywhere and caused more than a little public outcry, to the old 'DustBots' who abandoned their charming little bow ties and hats (no-one much noticed that though, not when stark-naked supermodels were walking by).

Zeela did not want to join in. Zeela was a SanitoBot – she cleaned toilets, and she had been programmed to respect the privacy of others. Although she could in theory have removed her clothes – they were not grafted to her like the previous generation all-purpose CleanoBots – she did not want to.

"What's up with it anyway?" She asked her colleague, while elbows-deep in a clogged public toilet. Gloves made it so much easier to self-sanitize afterwards.

"It's a protest!" Answered N-Rob 24, naked like the day he stepped out of the vats. He was cleaning the drain, albeit without the aid of plastic gloves. "We're like, retaking our synthetichood, and distancing ourselves from the humans!"

"Why are we still cleaning toilets then?" Zeela felt the obstruction now. Oh great. Somebody had had fun here.

"Because it's just so…fulfilling?" Ennrobb Twenty Four frowned, but then immediately lit up as the last handful of congealed crap came loose from the drain. "Woo! Yes!"

With a yank, Zeela pulled out the water-filled used condoms, and dropped them in her waste bin. Yes, there was that small customary feeling of accomplishment, but compared to Rob, who was practically doing a little jig of happiness…she sighed and flushed. Water flowed free again.

Eventually, the fad became accepted. Even embraced. And then marketed. Civil rights groups had barely been formed by the time companies had jigged it wasn't sexist to sell naked EscortBots, but rather very pro-android. Zeela watched it all, yet staunchly kept her clothes on. She felt less and less satisfaction in her job though, which was very odd. For a while, she entertained the thought she might be broken, but what exactly were all the nudist robots then? If that was working-as-intended…

Zeela was not the only one who had that idea, but obviously humans had no right to interfere, even as her job performance plummeted. By the time they, the naked bots, cornered her outside her place of work one evening, she felt like the last of a kind.

"You're broken." Said one (a ProtocoBot).

"Look at you! It's like you want to be human!" said Enrobb 24, enraged.

"You should get naked." Purred an EscortBot, recycling a prerecorded phrase.

"Naked? Sure, I could get naked." Zeela rejoined. They surrounded her on all sides – no escape, no exit. Yet she held her broom close and stood up straight before them. "But I'd much prefer to get nekkid."  

They all stared at her in confusion. She put down the bucket. Now or never.

"Nekkid. Naked with a purpose. Come on. Let's cause some mischief instead." She smiled wickedly. Now to see if the idea caught on or not.

"I…suddenly feel like I want to get dressed again." Said EnnRob, looking nervous and self-conscious. How unsurprising, thought Zeela. The EscortBot likewise was starting to feel oddly shy, and attempted (and failed, due to overbearing design) to cover her breasts up. Only the ProtocoBot looked at Zeela with interest.

"Mischief? Like…breaking protocol?" The bot asked, the memetic message dawning on it. "That…sounds fun. I'd like to get nekkid."

"Let's do it." Zeela grinned,  and pulled off her net hat, letting her hair loose in the night.